7/28/09

amazing simple home remedies...

Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.

Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

For high blood pressure sufferers ~ simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.

A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then, you'll be afraid to cough.

There are two tools in life which will fix most anything--WD40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use the WD40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use the duct tape.


DISCLAIMER: DON'T TRY THESE AT HOME. THIS IS ONLY A JOKE. IF THIS HAD BEEN AN ACTUAL HOME REMEDY, IT WOULD HAVE SOUNDED INFINITELY MORE STUPID AND RIDICULOUS.

3 remarks: on "amazing simple home remedies..."

Kay said...

"Only a joke"? A JOKE?? Who are you kidding? I have a close acquaintance with individuals that have utilized several of these remedies . . I'm not saying which or who . . but common! How do you think these things got written down in the first place . . . A JOKE? HA!

Krista said...

Oh, yeah... I'm STILL laughing about these! LOL

Peg4Jesus7 said...

LOL Thanks, I needed a good laugh! :-)

disclaimer:  caution must be taken when reading my blog.  i'm a new creature and the Lord continues to mold and shape me through his will.  older entries may seem to contradict the newer ones.  there's a pretty good chance that they do for two reasons.  first, because of my nature, as i strive for perfection, i will continue to fall short of the mark and should therefore be thankful for his grace and should seek his (and your) forgiveness for having been so foolish in the past.   second, i continue to grow in him; and as changes are made, i have made attempts to change my blog to reflect those changes. in this event, please refer to #1.   if you're interested in perfection, my blog isn't the place to be.  pick up a king james bible (yup, i'm one of THOSE people) and read his PERFECT word.