sober up

Titus 2:4
That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,...

Last night, I visited a very amusing website recommended by another Xangan in her daily blog. Not only did it make me laugh nearly to tears, but it also helped me to understand this verse better.

I'm currently listening to a series on marriage. In the 9th lesson, "Sober Up", the pastor talks about being drunk or your emotions. What a strange concept, but...

Last night my husband was supposed to come home around 11:30, so I decided to wait up for him until 1:00am. He still wasn't home, so I went to bed – defeated and angry. So much so, that when my husband pulled into the driveway not more than 10 minutes after I lay down, that I decided I was not going to get up and greet him. I mean, after all, why should I? He was an hour and half late. Hmphhhh! Then he came into the bedroom and bent over close to me to see if I was asleep. He figured I'd probably still be awake because I left him a note with the time I went to bed on it. I pretended to be asleep. Then he moped off, now equally defeated by his disappointment that I was not awake to keep him company after a long day of work. Then my conscience (my Lord) nagged me to get up. I had deceived my husband and I had made him feel bad for no other reason than because I felt bad. What kind of creep am I?

So then everything was OK, right? No, not really, I kissed him "hello" with little or no enthusiasm, and made sure to inform him that I was thoroughly ticked off. I didn't yell, but the effect was still the same. My husband's countenance fell a little bit more. Things remained pretty dreary and blah for the next few minutes until I decided to go back to bed.

My husband doesn't usually go to bed with me, due to his work schedule, but he frequently "tucks me in" when he is home. So last night he was lying beside me and I remembered the website that I mentioned earlier and I began to giggle as I was telling my husband that he should check it out when he got back up. And the more I remembered, the more I giggled until finally I decided to get up and show him myself. After watching it, we were both laughing together.

How much more joyous it was for us to laugh together than to be defeated together. Common sense, right?

Well....where does your common sense go when you've had to much wine?

Consider this. You have a glass of wine or maybe two and you feel fuzzy and warm and maybe even a little amorous. One would think you'd stop there, but remember, the common sense is now beginning to leak out of the back of your head. So you have another drink and another and another. And with each glass, you become more drunk and less able to make reasonable decisions.

Your emotions can take hold of you in much the same way. Imagine, the anticipation, waiting for your husband to come home. When he's late, anticipation turns into disappointment. Disappointment turns to worry, worry to anger and if you're really on a roll, anger to rage, until you are, you guessed it, drunk on your emotions. So now you are slamming doors, or throwing and breaking things around the house. Sound ridiculous? Maybe. But what about pouting, sighing, whining, complaining or maybe – pretending to be asleep?

I'm so thankful that God spoke to my heart last night and made me stop before I had too much to "drink". Otherwise, I might have gotten up this morning with a "hangover". Those of you who've ever experienced a real hangover, know that the easiest "fix" for a hangover is to drink more to ease the symptoms of the withdrawal from the alcohol. Common sense again tells us that this would be ludicrous, but a hangover can be debilitating enough that we resort to the easier path of getting drunk again.

I think going to bed angry works in much the same way. You wake up angry and although, we know it's unproductive to start the day off fighting, we do it anyway, because it's easier than swallowing our pride and apologizing or making up, but oh how much more joyful it is to be made whole and well again by reconciliation than moping, slamming and pouting around the house because you are so overwhelmed by your withdrawal from the excitement of your distress that you "drink" more and more until you become drunk on your anger once more.

When you read this, you might be tempted to shut down completely, become an emotional zombie, or maybe you already have. Don't stop experiencing your emotions, just learn to keep them in check. God gave women their emotions to help them nurture, nourish, love and cope. What a tremendous blessing. Remember that excitement, anticipation, and joy are all emotions too. Experience them and don't let disappointment, anger and rage take their place.

Whew. That's a lot of writing. I honestly didn't know, I had it in me, but how much better I learn when attempting to share with others.

Today, my emotional beginning was one of elation for my discovery and for the opportunity to share it with you. I think today will be a good day. Tonight, we are taking the kids to a concert at the local Christian coffee house (mmmmm coffee!). We're going to see "The Living Stones", a Christian blues band. We've seen them before. They are awesome. I'm really looking forward to it, as are the kids.

...and to the fellow Xangan... Thanks again for sharing. What a blessing it was to laugh with my husband over such silliness.

Have a wonderful Saturday and God Bless.